Potty training for children with autism spectrum disorder often requires a more gradual and tailored approach. Many parents find that their child may take longer to reach this milestone, experiencing progress that isn’t always linear and may even include periods of regression.
This can add stress and financial strain due to the extended need for big kid diapers, pull-ups for big kids, or youth pants. What strategies can parents use to ease this process?
Children on the autism spectrum may need additional time and support to become fully potty trained. Their unique needs can make patience and specific techniques essential to helping them reach this developmental milestone.
Why does potty training last longer for some autistic children?
There are many reasons children on the autism spectrum often remain in diapers, pull-ups, and youth pants longer than their neurotypical peers.
Sometimes, it’s a developmental delay, and the child is not able to recognize that they have to go potty, or maybe the child doesn’t have the adequate skills to maneuver clothing in time to use a toilet.
Children with communication challenges are less likely to be able to tell someone else they have to go to the bathroom. Those who take medication that makes them sleepy may also find it difficult to wake up in time to go.
Children with severe autism often don’t have the cognitive and motor skills to use a toilet, making the task that much more difficult to master.
It’s important to remember every child has different abilities and will develop at their own pace. Your child may need to use big kid pull-ups or diapers for older kids for a little bit longer than others.
Once potty-trained, sometimes some protection is still needed overnight. With the costs averaging hundreds of dollars per month, it’s important to find an excellent source for well-priced big kid diapers and pull-ups and perhaps some financial assistance.
Financial assistance for medically needed supplies
As you probably know by now, diapers and pull-ups are costly, especially when needed long-term.
First, talk to your child’s doctor about your options, as a great number of children on the spectrum qualify for some financial assistance for medically needed supplies and equipment.
Medicaid
If your child is eligible and enrolled in publically financed medical services such as Medicaid, they are likely covered by a provision called Early and Periodic Screening, Diagnosis, and Treatment (EPSDT).
Every state plan is required to make certain services available to all children from birth through age 21, and this program ensures children not only receive a diagnosis but appropriate treatment.
Medically necessary supplies, like diapers, are often covered for children over age three with a doctor’s prescription if they have a diagnosis of incontinence.
If your state denies this coverage, you can appeal, as federal guidelines (42 CFR section 440.70) require compliance for Home Health Services.
However, state rules vary: some states cover diapers before age three with a medical diagnosis, while others have different age requirements. States may also limit coverage to specific diaper brands, and not all will cover pull-ups.
To explore your options, check with your state, consult your child’s doctor, and speak with a Medicaid representative. When researching, use terms like “disposable incontinent supplies” to find relevant assistance programs.
Private insurance
Private insurance plans are not required to provide comprehensive benefits, and many do not cover diapers for older kids or other incontinence supplies.
Some insurance companies, however, will cover a portion or the full price of diapers, pull-ups, and youth pants for children with special needs because they are a necessity.
It’s worth finding a vendor who can bill your private insurance, as they may approve supplies you didn’t expect. Sometimes, insurance initially denies incontinence supplies, but if billed under standard medical codes, they pay the claim.
Keep receipts, as you may need to pay for diapers or pull-ups upfront and then request reimbursement. Most insurers require a doctor’s note and a prescription for disposable incontinence supplies.
Be sure to call your insurance provider to confirm their specific requirements.
How to buy big kid diapers, pull-ups, and youth pants for an autistic child
It can be a challenge finding big kid diapers, pull-ups, and youth pants for older children as they aren’t typically stocked in your local grocery or big box store.
Once your child graduates to “big sizes” (over size 6), you may need to use a medical supply store or an online medical supply retailer to special order diapers.
In addition to using the words ‘large diapers‘ in your search, try adding the word ‘incontinence.” Many companies don’t use the word ‘diaper’ once a certain size is reached, and they are commonly referred to as ‘pull-ups’ or ‘youth pants.’
The best big kid diapers, youth pants, and pull-ups rated by parents
It can be a challenge to find those ‘in-between’ sizes for children still in need of daytime and/or nighttime protection. They are often too big for many typical baby diapers but then still too small for adult-sized protection.
Here are several diapers, pull-ups, and youth pants parents of autistic children have used with success. Some websites offer excellent discounts and even free shipping on bulk orders, so be sure to do a little research.
Some of the links below are Amazon affiliate links, so if you buy through these links, Autism Parenting Magazine will receive a commission. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.
Cuties®
- Up to size 6 – 35+ lbs
- Cottony soft outer cover
- Soft stretchable waist and side panels
- Excellent leakage protection
- Hypoallergenic – extra soft inner liner with organic botanicals, vitamin E and aloe
Seventh GenerationTM Diapers
- Up to size 6 – 35+ lbs
- Premium absorbency
- Totally free from chlorine processing
- Hypoallergenic
- Free of fragrance, inks, and petroleum-based lotions
- Snug, flexible fit
Pampers Cruisers® Diapers
- Up to size 7 – 41+ lbs
- 3-way fit adapts at the waist, legs, and bottom
- Up to 12 hours of overnight protection with some sizes
- 3 layers of absorbency versus only 2 in ordinary diapers
Pampers UnderJams® Absorbent Nightwear
- Up to size L-XL – 58-85 lbs
- Quiet, cloth-like material
- Designed to be like underwear to let skin breathe
Attends® Youth Pull-Ups
- Sizes Youth/Small Adult to Adult XL – Youth/Small Adult fits waist size 22″-36″ – 80-125 lbs
- Super absorbent polymer channel
- Helps prevent odors
- Breathability with air flow material to keep skin dry
- Discreet packaging
EZ SOX® Training Underwear
- Up to size 4-5 years – 36-46 lbs
- Tag-free
- Embroidered oval handles sewn into our super soft wide waistband that allow for an easy grip
- 95% Cotton, 5% Spandex
GoodNites® Underwear
- Up to size L/XL – 60-125 lbs.
- 40% more absorbent than training pants
- Zoned protection for boys and girls
- Super stretchy sides fit many body shapes and sizes
Prevail® Extra Absorbency Underwear
- Sizes Youth/Small Adult to Adult 2X Large – Youth/Small Adult fits waist size 20″-34″
- Discreet absorbent protection
- Locks in moisture fast for added leakage protection and odor control
- The silky-soft outer fabric is softer and more comfortable
- Ventilated waist panels allow air to pass through to reduce heat build-up and promote healthy skin
Curity® Youth Pants Night and Day (formerly called Curity Sleep Pants)
- Up to size XL – 85 to 125 pounds; absorbency: 15 oz.
- Ideal for youths who have outgrown toddler training pants or need heavier protection
- Feature a tear-away side seam on the waistband for quick and easy garment changes.
Tranquility All Through the Night (ATNTM) Disposable Incontinence Brief
- Sizes Youth XS Youth fits waist size waist/hip size of 18″- 26″
- Highly absorbent
- High capacity for holding urine
- Guarantees skin dryness
- Neutralizes urine – inhibits bacterial growth
- Capacity is 18.5 oz of urine in the youth size
- Cloth like backing
- Latex free
FuzziBunz® (cloth reusable diapers)
- Up to size L – 45+ lbs
- Placement of snaps allows for a customizable fit
- Best choice for ease of use with daycare and other caregivers
- Durable fabric makes for easy wash and wear
- 1-year warranty
Supporting your child’s independence with the right supplies
Potty training for autistic children often means finding the right pull-ups, big kid diapers, or youth pants to support their unique needs. These supplies can make a world of difference, providing comfort, protection, and dignity as children work toward this milestone at their own pace.
By staying informed about available products, exploring assistance options for medically necessary supplies, and connecting with trusted vendors, you can reduce some of the stress and costs along the way. Remember, with the right tools, your child can feel secure and supported on their path to independence.
This article was featured in Issue 34 – Autism Sleep, Bedtime and Hygiene Routines
FAQs
Q: What diapers fit a 12-year-old?
A: For a 12-year-old, larger youth and adult diapers, including pull-ups and tab-style options, often work well. Look for youth or extra-small adult sizes designed for older children to ensure a comfortable and secure fit.
Q: What is the biggest kid diaper size?
A: The largest kid diaper sizes typically cover youth sizes, which can fit children and teens up to around 140 pounds. Extra-small and small adult sizes are also suitable for older children needing larger options.
Q: How can I find the right diaper size for older children?
A: Measure your child’s waist and hip sizes and check the weight guidelines on the diaper packaging. Most brands provide detailed sizing charts. Trying a few options can help you find the best fit and absorbency for your child’s needs.
Q: Are there discreet diapers for older children or teens?
A: Yes, many youth diapers and pull-up styles are designed to look like regular underwear, providing discretion and confidence. These options come in larger sizes, making them comfortable and easy to wear under clothing.
References
Shaffer, E. (2021). Diaper need as a measure of material hardship among under-resourced families with neurodiverse children (Doctoral dissertation, Rutgers University-Graduate School-Newark). https://rucore.libraries.rutgers.edu/rutgers-lib/66693/
Suhanti, I. Y. Early Introduction to Rules for Normal Children and Children With Special Needs Wearing Disposable Diapers. https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Indah-Suhanti/publication/285236771_Early_Introduction_to_Rules_for_Normal_Children_and_Children_With_Special_Needs_Wearing_Disposable_Diapers/links/5ea275f3299bf1438943f00f/Early-Introduction-to-Rules-for-Normal-Children-and-Children-With-Special-Needs-Wearing-Disposable-Diapers.pdf
Massengale, K. E., Jones, M. A., Liao, J., Park, C., & Old, M. (2022). Priority areas for child diaper access: Low-income neighborhoods with limited retail access to the basic need of diapers. Health Equity, 6(1), 767-776. https://www.liebertpub.com/doi/abs/10.1089/heq.2021.0192
