A Mother’s Gift: Our First Kiss

After a long day full of unexpected fun in the snow (daddy got to stay home) and a car ride with no destination in mind, I never imagined the gift that was going to come as we were getting ready for bed.

A Mother's Gift: Our First Kiss https://www.autismparentingmagazine.com/mothers-gift-our-first-kiss/

Per our routine we go upstairs after dinner for an hour of play; running from bedroom to bedroom, playing tag in the (magic) walk-in closet, and of course, a surprise candy from “Tinkerbell,” just a typical evening of events.

As I was folding clothes and singing Disney tunes at an obnoxious volume, I heard my husband from inside the closet, “Mommy is going to faint!”

Of course, I just ignored it…let’s be honest…one of the kids filled a diaper or my husband, well, I wasn’t going in there! I’ve been fooled many-a-times into entering areas with odors that brought me close to plummeting to the floor!

It was the next phrase that made me drop the clothes and RUN, “Thank you, Rocco, give me another kiss!” I got to the door of the closet, and I saw my son kiss my husband. I don’t think I could even breathe. There were just tears streaming down my face. Did I imagine it?

If you don’t understand this outpour of emotion, Rocco, our three-year-old is autistic. He doesn’t speak, he doesn’t really play with his sister, and he CERTAINLY NEVER shows affection like that.

I beg for hugs, and the world stops when he snuggles with me…but to see him kiss. It was like a complete BIG BANG. My daughter, Lily, who is one-year younger is a kissing machine so I attribute a lot of this to aping. She is not only his biggest fan but his biggest influence. This is by far the most magical imitation to date.


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So yes, I wanted to faint, but more than that, I so wanted him to kiss me. Don’t get me wrong…I am so thankful that they have this amazing relationship! It was truly beautiful to witness. They played and kissed a few more times, running back and forth until Rocco came up the stairs out of the closet. I knelt and just opened my arms.

He ran back and forth across the room with a smile on his face several times. I pulled him in for a hug, and it happened. It really happened.

We had our first kiss. He kissed me. Not just once. We played for a few more minutes, and I got TWO more kisses.

Today, more than any other day will never leave my mind. This was the most magical first kiss I’ve ever had.

To my son. I love you. Forever hugs and kisses. To many more.

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This article was featured in Issue 88 – Knowledge is Power

Valerie Cullari

Valerie Cullari enjoys writing about her family’s journey along the spectrum and all the adventures it brings. With each story, she hopes it brings a certain “relatable-ness” to other families going through the same thing as well as a touch of humor. As an active member in the autism community, she devotes her time to spreading awareness, education, and acceptance. Besides her husband and three-year-old warrior, Rocco, she has her two-year-old spitfire, Lily Rae. The children share laughs, get into trouble, and love eating pancakes together. If they aren’t singing and dancing to a Disney movie, you can find them playing tag or building towers. It’s not always butterflies and rainbows, but what would life be without some rain and worms. Have you ever played Mario Kart? Familiar with the level “Rainbow Road”? It’s hard; it’s tricky, it’s colorful and bright…after every lap…what an achievement! Sound familiar? Welcome to the world of autism. “It’s simply finding a miracle in the little, everyday things or perhaps it’s the little miracle that has found us.” Facebook; Twitter; and Instagram

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