How do you handle high anxiety of a child on the spectrum? My son is 12 years old and where we live there is a hurricane coming soon. Everyone is talking about it and he is terrified. He gets upset when it rains and he cries because heโs scared. With others he appears angry and asks the same questions over and over about the hurricane. He is obsessing about this storm! I assured him I would make sure he is safe and even told him we can drive away when the storm comes, but he is still upset. I just wanted to know if there are any other ways to help him.
โ Mary
Iโm so glad you asked this question. Perseveration (repeating the same thing over and over) is a VERY common issue among the autism community. Often, children with autism perseverate on stressors as a way of coping with their overwhelming anxiety. It may be continuously talking about the stressor, researching the stressor, or even acting out the stressor. In your sonโs case it sounds like asking people about the storm is his way of attempting to cope. Here are a few things I would suggestโฆ
- Validate his emotions. Put words to his emotions. Ask him how he feels or you can label it for him, โI can see that you feel scared,โ โI know youโre afraid,โ or โYou seem very nervous.โ
- Since youโve already assured him you will protect him from the storm, limit reminding him to once per day. He will likely carry on and seek further reassurance, but you donโt want to reinforce this repetitive conversation. Tell him once, โRemember what I told you, we will drive away when the storm comes. You will be safe.โ Or you can even have him repeat back to you what youโve already told him. For example, โWe talked about this yesterday. Do you remember what I told you? What will we do when the storm comes?โ Once he recites back to you what the plan is you can confirm what he has said and then move on. No further conversation about it; not even telling him โWe already talked about that,โ or โYes, youโre right. We will drive away.โ Redirect all further discussion of the storm.
- Give him an alternative way to cope such as a social story. You can simply write out a short story that details some information about the storm, what to do when it comes, how to feel when it comes, how to handle those feelings, etc. It may have pages such as: โWhere we live there are lots of storms. Some hurricanes we have had are _____. When we have hurricanes the weather gets windy, rainy, and there is thunder. Thinking of the storm can be scary. Itโs okay to feel scared. When I feel scared I can tell somebody, like my mom. My mom has told me that she will protect me from the hurricane. If the weather gets really bad we will drive away from the storm and come back once itโs over. This will keep me safe.โ Remind him to read his story when he gets stuck on perseverating on the storm.
It can be difficult to soothe an overly-anxious child, but hopefully these tips help to reduce some of the obsessive worrying. Stay safe!
Learn more about Angelina and her blog, The Autism Onion, at www.theautismonion.com or www.facebook.com/theautismonion
This article was featured in Issue 41 โ Issue 41 โ Celebrating Family
