I have a little boy. I am the Mama to a vivacious three-year-old. For those of you who know me, you know, my son is my life. There is not anything that I would not do for him. As far back as I can remember, I dreamed of being a Mom, and now I am!
Dreams are funny though, they are just that, not real, just imagined. They are the best possible scenario and everything is rainbows and butterflies.
My dream came true. I became a Mom, one unseasonably warm March evening in 2012. With the entrance of my son into this world the dream came true, but it was not easy.
My son was a beautiful, healthy baby, however Mama was a different story. We almost lost me after delivery from what the doctors called a “once in a blue moon” case. It took awhile for me to come to terms with the fact that what was supposed to be a happy time, wasn’t quite so happy. But I put it behind me and adopted the mantra, “I’m here and if something bad had to happen, at least it was me, not my baby boy.”
Fast forward to today… and my mantra just isn’t working anymore. Why…..
Because now my little guy is taking the hit.
I am the Mama to a vivacious three-year-old… who most likely has autism.
Autism, Au-Tism, that’s right A-U-T-I-S-M. How did this happen?
I will spare you the year of why him, what did I do wrong, how can I make it better, no it’s something else and just tell you I was wrecked for a long time. Being a Mom means giving your all, taking nothing, and if necessary doing the unthinkable to make your little one happy and healthy.
It was supposed to be me, not him. Not my precious wee-man, he was supposed to have it easy, do it all, do great things… how can I make sense of this. So I wrote what many Moms must go through and how I finally realized the bigger picture.
Your smile, your giggles, the hugs that hold me tight,
Your gentle ways, your heart, the way you see the world.
You are just right.
Bouncing up and down, running all around, dancing to and fro,
Splashing in the water, chasing bubbles, every dog is your friend.
You are just so.
Your mmms and ahhs, daa-s and baa, every sound and sigh,
High fives, pulling here and there, and hands that clap hooray
You have your own way.
Favorite shows, toys, snacks, pillows, meals, places near and far,
Everything has a place, a time, a way, and you know it all.
You are just who you are.
They say different, closed-off, sensitive, the spectrum is for you.
I say unique, special, loving, always aware, and finding your way,
You are just you…And Loving you is just what we do.
I’ve found there is no why, it just is. He is who he is. And I love him even more for that. He may not fit everyone’s idea of a three-year-old boy, but that doesn’t matter. For me, for my husband, and those that love him all the pieces make sense together, and Lucas is a perfect fit, and he will do many great, great things!
Elizabeth Jones lives in quaint town by the Susquehanna River in Central Pennsylvania with her husband and little boy. She has an associates in arts for early childhood education and over a decade in the field as a teacher and administrator. After having her son she remained home to raise him. Elizabeth believes that life’s ups and downs never stop and it is a journey, but it has allowed her to enjoy the things She loves most. She has discovered the joys and struggles of being a stay at home mom, and it is the hardest and most rewarding job one can do. For her, It has been a wild ride. One that she loves, along with her husband, her young son, and their little bi-level house. Her other loves being:
~ A passion to write stories for children that are worth telling.
~ Create a loving, and stylish home for her family.
~ And giving her son with autism a full and happy life.
Elizabeth wants to share with you her love of family, fashion, home decorating, cooking, and the roller coaster ride called parenting. She hopes that by sharing, She may somehow make it easier for someone out there. Given the day, what might be on here could be almost anything.
This article was featured in Issue 44 – Strategies for Daily Life with Autism