While parents of neurotypical children might be worrying about what their child’s college major will be, parents of neurodivergent children often wonder – will my autistic child be independent?
Today, more children with significant disabilities are living at home due to a lack of residential and job opportunities. While some leaders are working to create supportive living options like ranches and apartment complexes, it’s not enough to meet the growing demand.
Because of that, it’s important to know how you can prepare your autistic child for independence. Here are 12 things you can do.
1. Connect with local parent groups
Join local parent groups to discover innovative residential projects they may be working on. For example, some communities have developed housing cooperatives where families pool resources to create supportive living spaces for adults with disabilities.
Attend meetings, get involved, and even take on a leadership role to help shape the future of supportive living environments for your child. Taking the initiative now will help your child once it’s time to transition to independent living.
2. Lay a strong foundation
It’s never too late to support your young adult’s transition to independence. However, it’s best to start nurturing independence early. For example, instead of waiting for your autistic child to reach a certain age, begin teaching simple tasks like setting their place at the table.
Don’t wait for someone to tell you that your child isn’t ready. Encouraging responsibility from an early age builds confidence.
3. Teach your child basic dressing skills
For autism independence, teaching basic life skills early on can make a huge difference. Start small by letting your child help with dressing.
For example, they can begin by placing clothes in the laundry hamper. Over time, have them carry the hamper to the laundry room, sort light and dark clothes, and eventually fold and put away their own clothing.
Let them gradually choose their own outfits to encourage independence.
4. Teach bed-making
Begin with simple tasks, like removing pillows, and gradually introduce more complex tasks. For instance, your child can start by taking off the pillowcases or pulling up the sheets.
Eventually, they can learn to strip the bed completely and then move on to make it by themselves.
5. Encourage help with setting the table
Let your autistic child participate in household tasks, such as setting the table. Start by showing them how to place utensils correctly, then advance to tasks like taking dishes to the sink and scraping food into the trash. Over time, they can also learn to rinse dishes and load the dishwasher.
6. Make shopping a learning experience
Take your child shopping and give them tasks, starting small. For example, ask them to find one item, like a box of cereal, and place it in the cart. Eventually, they can handle a list of five items.
Teach them to put away groceries after shopping so they learn where things belong. As their confidence grows, have them create a shopping list, find all the items, and even pay at the checkout.
7. Involve your child in household maintenance
When a light bulb goes out, have your child help replace it. Walk them through the process: unplug the lamp, twist out the old bulb, find the new one, twist it in, and plug it back in. This hands-on experience builds life skills.
For example, you can also extend this learning to other small maintenance tasks like replacing batteries in remote controls or assembling simple furniture.
8. Teach bathing independence
Encourage your child to follow a visual checklist when bathing or showering. Create a step-by-step guide that includes washing, rinsing, and drying their body. This reduces the need for verbal or physical help and promotes independence.
Consider hanging a waterproof checklist in the shower that says, “Step 1: Wash hair, Step 2: Rinse hair, Step 3: Wash body with soap,” etc. Over time, your child can follow the steps independently.
9. Foster their curiosity and interests
Encourage your child’s curiosity, which leads to interest development and helps motivate learning. For instance, if your child shows an interest in music, consider enrolling them in music lessons or finding a local music therapist who can help channel that interest.
If your child loves animals, consider volunteering at an animal shelter together or visiting farms, nurturing a potential career in animal care.
10. Explore camp opportunities
Introduce your child to day camps and then overnight camps to build courage and resilience. Look for inclusive programs such as Boy Scouts or Girl Scouts, which offer leadership training and social skill development for children with disabilities.
Consider a camp that aligns with their special interests, like a nature camp if they love the outdoors or a science camp if they’re fascinated by experiments.
11. Address your child’s anxieties
Help your child manage anxieties by using techniques like modified cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). If your child is anxious about new environments, you could practice desensitization by gradually exposing them to small changes at home first.
For example, if your child is afraid of loud noises, start by introducing them to quieter versions of the sound (e.g., using headphones with a lower volume) and slowly work your way up.
12. Consider a Special Need’s Trust
Explore financial tools like a Special Needs Trust to ensure your child’s long-term care is covered. A trust can help protect their financial future while still allowing them to qualify for government benefits.
We suggest consulting with a financial advisor who specializes in planning for families with children with disabilities to set up the right kind of trust for your family’s situation.
Will my autistic child be independent?
Autism and independence are a common worry for parents of children on the spectrum. Once you have outlined a plan for fostering your child’s independence and assembled a team of supporters, you can start engaging with other families and organizations working on creating living opportunities for individuals with disabilities.
These opportunities won’t come about unless you actively participate, advocate, and help lead the way in building a long-term supportive home for your child.
Take the time to envision a safe and supportive environment where your child can use the independence skills you’ve worked so hard to develop. By laying a strong foundation now, you’ll help create a living arrangement that supports your child, whether they are still young, a teen, or an adult.
This article was featured in Issue 113 – Transitioning to Adulthood
FAQs
Q: Do people with autism struggle with independence?
A: Many autistic individuals may face challenges with independence due to difficulties with communication, executive functioning, or social interactions. However, with the right support, many can develop skills to live more independently.
Q: Can an autism child be independent?
A: Yes, autistic children can learn to be independent, especially when given individualized support and guidance that meets their unique needs. Progress may vary, but many can acquire essential life skills over time.
Q: How do you make autistic kids independent?
A: Helping autistic kids become independent involves teaching life skills in small, manageable steps and providing consistent support and structure. Visual aids, routines, and fostering self-advocacy can also be effective in promoting independence.
Q: Is there hope for autistic children?
A: Absolutely, there is hope for autistic children to thrive and reach their full potential. With early intervention, appropriate support, and understanding, they can lead fulfilling and successful lives.
Q: Can an autistic person lead a normal life?
A: Many autistic individuals can lead meaningful and fulfilling lives, though “normal” may look different for each person. With tailored support, they can pursue education, careers, relationships, and hobbies just like anyone else.
References
Syriopoulou–Delli, C. K., & Sarri, K. (2022). Video-based instruction in enhancing functional living skills of adolescents and young adults with autism spectrum disorder and their transition to independent living: a review. International Journal of Developmental Disabilities, 68(6), 788-799. https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/20473869.2021.1900504
Cheak-Zamora, N., Tait, A., & Coleman, A. (2022). Assessing and promoting independence in young adults with autism spectrum disorder. Journal of Developmental & Behavioral Pediatrics, 43(3), 130-139. https://journals.lww.com/jrnldbp/fulltext/2022/04000/assessing_and_promoting_independence_in_young.2.aspx
